Untitled Pandemic Journal

May 5, 2020

I missed watching "Survivor" on TV last Wed. because I lost track of what day it was.  The weekend is easy because I get the newspaper then, which keeps me straight on the days.  I actually have an appt. this week, a previously postponed free hearing test.  Last week it was an audition taping at SAT.  Next week I'll see the Dermatologist, I presume, for a skin check.  The Angel Band is talking about meeting on H's deck again—no date set yet.  I talk about once a week to the three WWWomen.  I miss going to the movies with them on Sun., but I have Netflix now, so I can get my entertainment shot every night now.

I cough occasionally, but then, I cough all year 'round.  Is it allergies?  My hyper-inflated lungs?  Or is it a virus, COVID or other wise?  Sometimes I begin to doubt, but most of the time, I think it's just me.
When I go to the grocery store, I wear my vinyl gloves and a Dr.'s ofc. type mask, but I don't freak out if I happen to walk past somebody less than 6 ft. away.  If they are not coughing/sneezing, nor I, I'm not worried.

Of course, my life history has a lot to do with my attitude toward illness.  As I wrote the local newspaper  (April 12):
What I have learned in the past month is that there are a lot of people who are scared to death of getting sick.  I am not.  I am cautious, but I am not panicking.  I'm 84 yrs. old but without heart issues, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, etc., just joint pains.  I'm also a person who was allowed to get sick as a child.  Every year, it seems, I was sick in bed with something---measles, German measles, trench mouth, tonsillitis, chicken pox, whooping cough, mumps, flu of one sort or another---my brother had diphtheria, but I didn't get it probably because I was a nursing baby at the time.  The only immunization I ever got was smallpox, as it was required to enter school, plus a couple tetanus shots as an adult.  I was 27-yrs. old before I ever had an antibiotic (in the hospital with newborn), and I can count on my fingers the number of times since (less than 10!).  I was 19 before I had my first aspirin and I've only had one more in my life.  I was taught to endure pain.  I lived through the polio scare, the Asian flu that emptied out my college dorm (but I was fine), Legionnaire's disease, and every other large-scale contagious disease since without succumbing.  I have never had a flu shot.  The way you get immunity is by being exposed.  It was the practice when I was a child, that if my brother got sick he would kiss me so I would, too, or vice versa.  This changed when I got the mumps at 10 when he was 16---no kissing then!  But you wanted your child to "take them" if someone else had measles, etc.  
It has been my practice for decades that the first thing I do when I come home from being out in public is to wash my hands.  …
So, I wear a mask and gloves when I enter the grocery store or drugstore, I stay away from people, but I don't panic.
Since I've been retired for 20 yrs., my life routine hasn't changed that much;  I talk to friends on the phone or e-mail them but I miss our movie or games get-togethers.  I have the radio and TV to keep me apprised of what day it is.  I am concerned about the massive loss of jobs/small businesses that is happening, and I believe the future will be different from what we have known to date.

May 11:  I saw the Dermatologist today for a routine skin check.  It meant removing my mask for him to check my face, and of course his gloved hands looked elsewhere as well.  I wasn't worried.  In the waiting room they had chairs sealed off to allow the 6-ft. clearance between seats.  There was one man in the waiting room not wearing a mask.  I was surprised.  I would have tho't the office would have supplied a mask for him.  I saw none being offered.
My friend Fs. feels sad, and yet she has family close by; none of my other buddies do.
I worry about my son being able to return to his job, but at least he is getting some pay if not full pay.
Then there's my daughter doing graduate school online.  She was due for a paid internship this summer—probably not going to happen now.  And what about next year with degree in hand?

May 14:  The 5-member Angel Band met today for the first time since early March.  We were outside on H's deck, sitting 6 ft. apart.  We had no agenda other than to see each other and catch up with our personal stories.  M., a nurse/X-ray technician, is past retirement age, has suffered serious illness last year and is caring for her ailing husband, yet-still she goes in to work because her patients "need me to hold their hand."  C. has been evicted from her house because the owner wants to remodel in order to get a higher rent, no doubt.  She will share with a single mother and child in a neighboring town, but at least has the prospect of going back to work soon.  D. is dealing with family issues-- an agreement to start marriage counseling and facing the prospect of being a grandmother sooner than she wanted—plus not being able to work as a massage therapist or have anyone in her home for B&B.  H. is very aware that ten people (she knows) in early middle age have all died suddenly (NOT COVID-19) recently, and needs reassurance that her beloved is still alive each day. She asked me about my project of transcribing family letters, so I quoted some interesting passages from my grandmother and her sister when they started college in 1883.

The letter transcription is my main "work" now.  I task myself with doing at least one letter every day, but usually it is two.

So we closed our get-together in an imaginary group hug---We stood more or less in a circle with our arms stretched wide, but not touching of course.  We all left feeling much better, I'm sure.  Now if I can only get the WWW together similarly.

May 17  I did!  It was a lovely warm, sunny day, and we sat on my side deck, more than 6 ft. apart, and I set a snack table by each chair.  S. folded an incontinence pad up to make her mask!  F. had a fancy fabric one.  I just wrapped a silk scarf around my face.  My doctor's ofc. style masks are now pretty well used.  They both expressed their pleasure at this occasion to be together.  No food or drink offered.

May 18.  I woke before 6 a.m. because of a need to cough out some phlegm in my breathing passageways.  Couldn't get back to sleep, partly worrying whether this "meant" something.  I remember the many times in the past that this has happened to me, so it isn't anything new.

Saw my PT Ellen today for first time since early March.  I'm hurting everywhere.  She says the new elbow pain is "tennis elbow."  I lay down to take nap in late afternoon and used ice pack on my hip crease, but didn't for the elbow; but I intend to at some point.  Can't start pool therapy again until June 9—they have limited hours and not a full staff.  Maybe July, they think.

May 22  Went to grocery for short list today.  Decided I wanted to use my nylon fancy gloves instead of plastic gloves and use my neck accessory scarf for masking my face.  My pants pockets were very shallow and I lost one of my fancy gloves---so bummed!  Have ordered a similar pair online, 1950's style, which is probably when I got mine, too.

May 27  Am feeling so stiff these days.  Exercise at home doesn't seem to be helping much.  I called SEFR to see if I could use their weight equipment again as a former PT patient, but he said No, they had to weight for the "gym" clearance re COVID-19, but I'll be first on his list to call when they can take clients again.

I suggested to F & S that we could play charades while masked instead of our usual board games/cards, which brings us too close together, but they weren't up for it---bummer!  But the Angels group is going to meet again in 2 weeks.

My niece, a university official, is having a tough time with her stay-at-home with daughter, whom she has to home-school as well as entertain she says, because daughter is not good at entertaining herself.  Hard to get her work done via computer as well as mother/teacher.  I've never understood how a woman could be full-time employed and parent.  When I was a single-mother, I only worked part time and that was hard enough.  And I had to do what a father would do as well, which at least, J. does not have to do, being married.  I feel sorry for grand-niece, as she has no playmates now.

June 3   I saw gyn. dr. a couple days ago.  Was strange to see only her eyes—you can't tell if someone is smiling or not.  Reminds me of the remark made about an actor whose role requires a full beard:  he has to do "eyebrow acting."

Yesterday I started up PT again with Ellen. I see more strongly than ever my need to focus on exercise in order to live my aging life.  It is good to be interacting with the world a little more, but those masks are not very friendly.

June 5---Went downtown today.  No problem parking.  The Vintage store where I had taken clothes just before everything closed down, is now open, but they were not interested in my stuff; nor were two other consignment shops.  My stuff "doesn't sell well in Asheville,"  one said.  The other frankly said she was trying to move stuff out of her store just to survive so would not be taking any more in.  I expected that.  Well, I guess I'll donate them to the thrift store belonging to the farm animal rescue place.  Many stores boarded up because of possible riots due to George Floyd's horrible death.  I'm encouraged by the large number of protests all across the country and in other countries as well; but what about "social distancing"?  I suspect Sept. will be the turning point:  either things are improving or jumping back up in number of cases.

June 7---S & I went to F's front porch this afternoon.  I had foster puppy with me.  Pleasant weather and pleasant visit:  S on the swing, I at the other end of the porch, and F in the middle.

June 9---At last I'm in pool PT again!  But so strange for us all to be wearing those paper masks while moving around in the water.  But what I miss most is not seeing people smile . . .

June 13---F & I met at S's today, in her front yard in the shade of a tree.  S is very fearful as she has a "compromised immune system" and so refused permission to F to use her toilet, telling her to go to a local McDonald's instead.  F tried to hold it, but finally pleaded to go into her house to use the bathroom.  S reluctantly relented but then complained about it.  F & I agree that we cannot come to S's house anymore for our meetings, since she cannot properly host.

June 20---S called today to say she would not be going out anymore where F was also, since F has eaten in a restaurant and had her hair cut.  S feels that is too much exposure, so she doesn't want to be around F now.  F called to talk it out with me.  We are going to get together tomorrow as planned on my deck.  F feels that she does not want to curtail her activities, so our contact with S will now just be telephone calls.  I had purchased some individually packed snack things for us; now will have enough for several meetings!

June 23---S. sent me an e-mail explaining that she lets her mail "air out" for 3 hrs. before she opens it, and disinfects groceries with alcohol or bleach, or scrubs fruit and vegetables for 20 seconds.  I did not find anything on the CDC website that suggests doing this, even for immuno-compromised people; only to wash frequently touched surfaces, like counters, door-knobs, and light switches.  So S's activity seems unnecessarily extreme to me, but, as I told her, she should do whatever makes her feel safe, so if doing all that accomplishes safe feelings for her, then have at it.  I just find it less attractive to me to be at her house.  She spoke of having another friend, FS, join us outside again at her house, but I'm still not inclined to go.  Neither is FS, I learned later, because she has unexpected toilet needs.

June 28---Angel Band met at D's garden this time.  We had some ceremony of smudging and then painted rocks on a theme of "ancestors."  I sat at the table where there were some paint choices set up, but it was a rather small table.  M. came over, asked if I minded her sitting on the other side (not 6 ft. away), and I said "No," but in reality I was a little nervous about it.   She works in a hospital and on one hand she knows all the protocol for staying protected, but on the other hand, she of all of us, is the most likely to be exposed.  In fact, the 6-ft. rule was ignored quite a bit in this meeting, and nobody masked.

July 3---My daughter sent me two masks that she made from the silk scarf I sent her.  It has a pocket to insert a Kleenex or other "filter."  She also has elastic to tie at the back of the neck so you can hang the mask on your chest when not wearing it.  The silk is so soft and nice against my skin.  I think I will wear it at the next Angel meeting even if we are sitting 6 ft. apart, simply because of the rise in cases lately.

No more PT in the pool for several weeks, so I went to local outdoor pool.  They want you to reserve and pay online, but it was after 4:30 when I went, so I took my chances.  They let me in.  Even kids in the pool were mindful of distancing; that was encouraging.  Not that many people in the water, so no worries.

July 10---This evening I noticed my throat seemed slightly tingly.  Mirror showed red pharynx, but tonsils OK.  Checked out some homeopathic remedies to take, plus popped a zinc/elderberry lozenge.  Nervous, but optimistic.  My voice has been impeded lately, too, and needing to clear in order to speak and make a sound.  No temp.

July 12---Throat better but still do not have clear voice.  Wondered whether I should meet with F. on her porch this aft., but decided to go ahead.

July 18---Angels are discussing meeting by Zoom next time, since COVID cases are going up (M., the nurse, is seeing Florida people visiting here bringing COVID with them).  M. does not have Zoom, so issue unresolved as yet.  I don't like meeting when we are not all five there.

July 21---Apparently neither does H. and Zoom did not get an enthusiastic response, so we have now postponed until last week of Aug.

July 25---Met with S. at FS's porch this afternoon.  I was surprised that S. was OK with FS's not wearing a mask or gloves and actually sitting fairly close to her.  She said it was because FS had not "been anywhere."

July 26---Went to F's this aft.  She was inside so I sat with her for some minutes, but we were distanced and masked.  I talked her into going out on the porch to play board games and we sat back from the table, but still was not a full 6 ft. distance.

Aug. 2---F. came to my house for lunch and a video.  We were out on the deck as usual, but she had forgotten her mask and gloves.  I sat more than 6 ft. away, but I did not do the mask/gloves either.  I hope that wasn't a mistake.  During the video inside, I sat nearly 5 ft. away---I hope that was enough!
The news is all about how the virus is spreading again; altho'  in NC we are holding steady.

Tonite I went to Mission Hospital ER via ambulance because I was choking on probably a nettles stalk from my soup and I was afraid it would shift and go into air passage; it seemed partly to block speaking and partly to not go down from swallowing---just stuck!  The ambulance guy gave me a mask but I didn't have any gloves with me.  Things went well enough in the ER and they said I probably just scratched my throat but nothing showed on a CAT-scan.  I had to use the public toilet three times and of course there was no lid on the toilet.  I'm reasonably sure that any suspected COVID cases were treated elsewhere, but nevertheless, worrisome.

Aug. 5---Took temp. and it was 99.5 and I had lumpy swallowing pain on right side of my neck.  Gargled and took zinc lozenge.

Aug. 6---No temp. today; swallowing  still bothersome, but less so.

Aug. 7---No temp. today and swallowing almost normal.

Aug. 8---All OK today.

Aug. 9---Woke up with some throat discomfort on R. side; not so much the lumpy feeling; no temp.  I told F. about my week and she preferred not to meet this time.  She admits to being "scared."   Took long walk in the woods this afternoon.  Feel OK in all other respects.  Until this eve. when the hip became very painful.

Aug. 10---Throat feels like it did before—swallowing pain and lumpy.  PT did not want me to come in if not 100%.

Aug. 11-15---New symptom:  gland under tongue affected—some pain when tongue extended.  My current remedy is obviously not working anymore.  Have started a new one, specifically for the tongue symptom.

Aug. 17---No PT again.  Called my GP (on vacation), but I'll see a substitute doctor on Wed.

Aug. 19---Well, there was no talk of COVID, and the doctor says a temp. under 100 is considered "normal."  Her guess was perhaps I had a salivary stone, so I'm to get an ultrasound to check.  Meanwhile, warm compresses on neck and suck lemon!  And I've added another remedy for the stone (Calcarea).  I was cleared to return to PT and F. is ready to see me at her house again this Sun.

I think I will end my COVID journaling here, as things look like they will continue the same as now for a long time, so unless I get sick, not much new to report.